If you're lucky enough to have accommodation with a washing machine, pop your alcohol and puke-covered clothing into it, get a cheap washing tablet from a shop of your choice, push the button that says “quick wash” and pray to whatever God you believe in that you've not permanently stained everything you own – if you have, Primark exists for a reason. Like food, washing your clothes doesn't happen by itself. Well, you've got cheese and bread – go and buy some baked beans and you've got a cracking three-ingredient dinner right there. Push it down, wait for it to pop up, place it on one of your shiny new Tesco-own plates and add butter to it.įor lunch, take two slices of the bread you found and add cheese to the middle of it after buttering the bread.Ĭongratulations, you've made a sandwich – for Michelin star levels of cookery, try putting the sandwich in the oven on 180c for 10 minutes and you'll have yourselves a toasted cheese sandwich.
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